National Toilet Paper Day: Tushy’s $100 anal bleaching

Tushy, meanwhile, is using the day to make a lucrative—if tongue-in-cheek—promotional offer more about poo-pooing conventional toilet paper than selling it. The brand is best known for kits that turn toilets into bidets that reduce the need for toilet paper. It is offering $100 worth of free professional “butthole bleaching” to people who buy its bleach-free alternative bamboo toilet paper Aug. 26-28.

The professional anal bleaching session must be completed by Sept. 30. And the offer is limited to a total outlay of $10,000, or the first 100 takers. People just need to send in receipts both for the bamboo toilet paper and the procedure.

The catch is that your typical bamboo toilet paper consumer is not likely into anal bleaching. A spokeswoman said Tushy is fully committed to making good on the offer.

“We avoid putting bleach on our skin at all costs, so why are we okay with rubbing it on our butts?” said Miki Agrawal, Tushy’s founder and chief creative officer, in a statement. “Big Toilet Paper has gotten away with making billions off a product filled with harmful chemicals for far too long, and we’re here to stop them in their tracks with our bleach-free, 100% sustainable Bamboo Toilet Paper – along with our game changing Tushy bidet, of course.”

“Big Toilet Paper” sees things differently, of course. While wood pulp used in toilet paper is bleached to make it white, P&G notes on Charmin.com that “100% of the pulp used in our products is elemental chlorine free.”

Regardless, in case you were wondering, “anal bleaching is definitely a thing and, among other anal aesthetic services, is gaining in popularity,” said Dr. Evan Goldstein, an anal surgeon, also in Tushy’s statement. He added that the procedure doesn’t involve actual bleach and that his practice, Bespoke Surgical, offers “a comfortable medical-grade peel.”

For the DIY set, a Google search yesterday showed specialty skincare brands buying ads against a “butthole bleaching” search even before Tushy’s National Toilet Paper Day offer.

Others whose work involves plenty of toilet paper are also joining in on social media.